These r poems written by Michael Antonio Ciliberto 13production©1998,1999,2000,2001 i have all the original copies on my computer and in notebooks 4give me on the spelling and grammer erros ok...thanks i hope u like... like a rose The rose is one of the most beautiful things in the world.. .But its missing the beauty that u have on the inside and the beauty u have on the outside the beauty that everyone sees when they look at u ... u may say u are that single special rose in the garden .....In the world gateway I believe the eyes are a gateway to the soul..... when they let u inside u will see the true beauty that lies beneath the persons skin... the only way to see true beauty is first to see the beauty in you yourself..... once u see the beauty the world will never look the same thorough your eyes girl of my dreams I cant see her but I luv her... sad because I cant be with her.... heartache because she was the girl of my dreams.... pain because u were my angel...u meant everything to me .. but its is only going to be a dream cuz it can never be...crying...tears falling down my face.. u r the one for me...ur the girl of my dreams.. U set me free the terms that we meet on were so gray A dark loved filled my heart...becuz of the depression my soul started to decay .... I looked into your eyes and saw love was there.. My heart started to beat for you and always will.... my lips touched yours, was weak at the knees., My mind was out in space ....I couldn't think ., couldn't breathe... holding hands and sharing dreams ... sharing years of happy memories... becuz of your I will be free from the darkness that live inside of me Becuz of u I will be free, becuz you truly loved me... True love You stare at her so heavenly You think she is so cute Your heart pumps sixty miles Blood flows lose through our veins You went to ask her out You want to go on a date You asked her, you ask She laughed in your face Then you found out, you learned Love is nothing Nothing but a heart ache Masked by feelings you think are true But will only end up hurting you Beauty in my eyes The weird and the ugly things to you in this world Are the beautiful things to me The girl you may think is ugly I say is pretty Not obsessed just course she is interesting The girl in the window The girl next door to me A dead rose in the garden of the living A dove dead resting in peace The way the leaves dance with the wind, to its unknowing beat These are the beautiful things to me If that makes me a freak then let it be Because these are the beautiful things in life to me War The snow falls hard The open wounds are frozen Little pain But the sweat makes it worse Shivering The time has come Only nineteen, wasting away Diseased feelings, blacking out Sleeping in a puddle of shame The light burns on They are crying The lonely souls Their hearts keep on beating They were never known Hear their cry, a mile away Their horrifying screams of pain Fill the day's cold night sky Hands covered in blood Tears frozen in time All the suffering frozen in time The light burns on They are crying They are dead The lonely souls Their hearts keep on beating They were never known A crime inside a crime Suffering for no reason The pain of endless memories The tragedy of war Killer cry Sweet little child So innocent Why can't you live in peace? Sweet little child So trusting So cute You're killing me Sweet little child You act so grown up You act like me Sweet little child Do me a favor Don't grow up to be a killer like me Untitled Days are long Time passes by so slow It's past two I have no place to go The grass dies away The mid day heat makes the water go away Will you be there for me? Will you be there for the lonely man? Old age creeps near, death becomes closer Your life is passing by; your dreams are going down the drain Future burst apart The universe is so mean Will you be there for me? Will you be there for the lonely man? Time, time flashes by The days are so gray Twenty-five years of internal bliss Fifty year of internal pain All this pain All the change I wilt away The rose of life wilts away In the end Will you be there for the lonely man? Untitled Let the world lie in grief For all those people taking the eternal sleep Let us mourn the souls that weep Let the dead lie in peace Death on the world So many die a day Bones lie deep under ground In a six foot gave While their souls float away In heaven they will stay Untitled The time has turn against our love The year is old and doesn't pass bye The love for you was strong Why did you have to die? Cuz I failed Time after time I look at the world while I watch my hands fade away in front of my face My body is weak my sprit is floating away I speak gentle words in the cold night air, words saying im sorry. Alone I am cuz im not worthy to look you face to face I couldn't come through Wasn't strong enough to face my fears Couldn't beat the monster inside of me Alone now I must be ..Alone Cuz I messed up in life ..In everything.. Lying in the snow, freezing, dying Comfort from no one.. Dying with a smile on my face Glad no one is watch No one will see I wont be seen When I fail Falling hard, (last chance no more) When I fail Can't make it up (its all gone. Say good bye) Cuz I failed And I failed Sweet love Don't hate me, but yet done love me I wont hate u if u kill me emotionally I'm use to it, I live for it Kind of funny Well not really It's just a weird life I live Its normal to me But not to u …sorry If it scares you But is how I live Darkness is life Darkness is what I feel Cruelty is what I take Cruelty is what I crave Pain is my fuel But yet a little love will do good maybe some day Don't ask now, but later I might love u But now I cant feel love It's like a needle in my heart. A knife in my brain. I can't love u Fear me Be scared Hate me Scar me Fuel me Its what I live for, Love means noting Love is noting But a sick feeling………….. Never alone The closet door shuts tonight but the pain is still there The smallest things wont leave you alone The simplest things wont let u be, they bring the most suffering Your brother quietly despairs with the night Your sister runs away from home Your hear the dead baby cry She didn't care, mother let us go. She crys for a hundred days her tears fall to the floor All she want to do is sleep tonight but it brings her dreams Dreams of Anguish the leave her with a heart ache She cant make it go away I wont leave you alone I wont punish you, hurt you for the mistakes that I made I wont be like that The closet door is closed the light is turned off But the sorrow is still there I cant see how took them I can tell The water is too thick Memories…memories are all you will have Of your brother , sister , hearing the baby cry Because she didn't care, she let us go The days are long her courage is sinking The ground is breaking apart while the home of happy thoughts becomes weighed down The flower petals blow away fling into winters grip She stairs out the window the hollowness n her eyes The hollowness it wont go away I wont leave you alone, I wont be like that I wont punish you, hurt u for the mistakes that I made I wont leave you alone I wont leave you alone the suffering will go away You wont have to pay for the worlds mistakes The tears can dry from your face you don't have to be afraid You wont be alone , I wont go away.. R.I.P.A.J. Light turns do dark The smile turns to a frown The cold day gets colder This feeling isn't rite Something isn't rite Why did u have t die? Theses memories I keep close to my heart I cherish them now that u r gone The candle slowly dims Darkness is setting in Silence is the only thing u hear While the candles go out with your last breathe The room is dark now, Memories r the only thing left I remember the times we drew together When we painted each other Showed me how to sketch my hand, Letting me know I was good enough to use pen Teach me the stuff I use to this day .. These r the memories I will remember every day Now I stopped feeling love and happiness Pain and hate isn't far away Now that we r two worlds apart Depression is dripping in While my life is wasting away The world to me starts to rote While the universe starts to decay I fall into this black hole I cry cuz heave is so far away…. While I fall and lie in this corner The sunlight pierces through the darkness and burns my leg The the light makes me go blind But sum reason I see u I see u for the last time… I say good-bye … Now u truly passed away… Ur gone from my life. For ever u will be remembered Rest in peace Wondering about you As I look at u from above I see u passing time by so slow All alone So I wonder why? Are u doing fine? Why r u so sad? Where did the happiness go? Im wondering Why do u want to be alone As I stair at u from above I see the ugliness cage your heart I see the darkness inside Its starting to swallow u alive I see u start to cry Curled up in the corner all alone So I wonder why? Are u doing fine? Why r u so sad Where did the happiness go? im wondering Why do u want to be alone I see u closing the door I see u lie on the floor I feel u losing your faith So I wonder why? Are u doing fine? Where did the happiness go? So I wonder why? Why do u cry? Do u lie On the floor in the cold So I wonder why ? Are u doing fine? Why r u sad? Where did the happiness go ? im wondering Why do want to be all alone Mommy Mommy im so sorry It's something I had to do, I just couldn't stand the pain, I wished every night it would go away, Or someone would get the clues, Mommy im sorry I didn't say good-bye I just couldn't look you in the face Knowing how much u loved me Knowing u would do anything to try to stop me Mommy im sorry I just couldn't say good-bye I was running late cuz I was grabbing something for school today Im so sorry I wish I could of said I loved you but, I wasn't my self that morning that day I was just thinking about how much better I would feel When I ride myself of this horrible pain Mommy im so sorry I wish I could have wrote you a note, thanking you for every thing Thanking your for raising me, A note saying it was noting you did or said, It wasn't you at all It was just something I had to do. Tell Kimmy I love her; let her know I was thinking of her Remind here that the ring is hers to keep Don't let her give it back to me. Tell Kimmy she was the best friend I ever had, Let her know she was the little sis I never had. Let her know this place im in know is so peaceful Its perfect for me… Let her know she meant so much to me…. It was something I had to do.im so sorry Mommy im so sorry There was so much anger inside of me I had to take things in my own hands, I felt no one would truly understand, Or know what I was feeling Its was the worse thing you could every imagine. It was just something I had to do Mommy let the paramedics know, I know they tried Let them know it was ok for them to cry I heard them say there was noting they could do … When the voices started to fade away in my head The last think I heard was, He's going to be DOA Let them know its ok It was something I had to do Mommy im so sorry … It was something I had to do I had to show them a lesson Had to let them know what they can do Let them know it's not right to make fun of people … Let them know I had feelings too When I pulled the trigger And after the shot, silence filled the air Frozen in there seats there was noting they could do. The feeling of freedom filled my soul Knowing the suffering is over, and I won't cry anymore Knowing that I can live in peace and with no fears But mommy Im so sorry im so sorry It was something I had to do The only thing I feel bad about is, I didn't say good bye and I love you, sorry, You were everything to me …Thank you Untitled This poor little child Life ended so soon She had so much potent ional But yet so much misery I can't comprehend how she took it So many years of hate and cruelty How she passed every day as Just another How she live a life of darkness Yet so open everyone could see Well except the ones that gave her pain That treated her like she was a freak Such a poor little child So much light in her eyes So much happiness behind the smile But yet so much hate behind the face Inside the body In the heart.. So much pain … Things she touched start to rot Things she holds start to die She can seem to keep things alive Poor little child Such a sad life She has so much misery in her She took her own life friends forever I let u into my life. Into my world I thought I knew u But now I can't trust u U lied to me Friends we can never be Your ego is so big It's pissing me off, its killing me Im not the only one to see it There is plenty more We wont say anything to u Cuz were waiting 4 the rite time So it smacks u in the face And knocks some sense into your blind mind Fuck this bullshit u do to me. Why I took it , cuz it use to be funny Now it's getting old …I don't know what to do. Should I stand in public and slit my throat ?…so u get a clue Should I jump off a bridge and have a note on me saying im not gay? Should I set my house on fire and just pray? Pray u will stop play these fucking games. U think ur a big shot…think twice u damn fool I won't say sellout to harsh of a word Ur just like the rest of them …just to fit in Hey guess what u betrayed ur best friend …Friends 4 ever what a laugh … I thought u meant it…ha I should of knew it would never last Such a state u left me in..depressed ..pissed off… Killing myself will that make it end? U saved me once …u cant save me again… It's your own personal work that pushed me off the ledge I hope u can sleep well knowing ur true best friend is dead… I know I couldn't Knowing he died becuz of what I said The Shooting will Never Disapair U came into our world Broke the silence that we lived in U took some one that meant so much to us How could U U walked into the building Where we all felt safe U broke the feeling of security U brought down the walls U makes us fear anyone that comes through How could u? What were u thing …fuck the im insane. U had medication.take it u ass Why did u have to hurt us? Scare us Frighten us Why did u have to put these images into our minds? Why did u have to take a life? Why, what was the reason behind all this trying to take life U took one persons.u should of took mine. Cuz I remember this day every night… Every time I walk past the site. The bikes … the holes in the walls The blood stained matt that we walked on. Reminding us what happened to friends at that time U hurt us… U made us dark…u made us cry. U made us run away …and hide U mad us fear going to school Cuz we think we might die We see the blood shed in our minds. We have fear in our eyes…. We question everyone who walks by This is not a life to live by It's all because u had to take a life U had to shoot …u had to kill U had to do something for noting U had to be a monster in ours eyes The sad thing is u wont do time. The sad thing is.a friend died The most disturbing things is we all suffered. Its carved into our minds. That day. That time November 7.94…will never end, IT WILL NEVER DIE Its frozen in time Every thing stop …ended A new chapter started in our lives It will never be fine The pain is still in side The memories will never subside Only one question WHY? Untitled The wall comes crumbling down The bombs going off in the background Bloodshed every where Dead bodies lying in the streets People missing hands and legs Mothers dying …while their kids look on Walking down the road where ur friend was shot Drinking water with a tint of red It has the taste of blood Crying, screaming, praying Watching the weak die away Even the strong have little time to live Cuz the war is long form over It will go on until no life exists As me and my dad walk the streets He says it brings back memories Crying children, hate and greed, Pain and suffering The streets use to be white But now r stained red… From all the years of blood shed Medieval nights We are foolish kids Playing queen and king Thoughts of swords, armor, and shields Illusions of demons, Dragons and fairies Slaying the monsters beneath the sea Fighting the dark knight to the death Crossing fiery lakes Living in a world with wizards Were magic is all around Being the prince lifting his princess up to the star filled sky Living in a world where only a golden medallion Will save us from the evil that will end all life But remember We are just foolish kids Playing in the flower garden at night Untitled I lie in bed Thinking about that special girl Why I think of her I don't know I guess im in love A laugh in my mind A sigh in my heart What is love? Have I felt it? Why do I stay up thinking about this girl? I don't know.. She makes me think when I should be asleep She makes me dream when I should be awake She puts these strange feeling into me I guess im in love But yet I wouldn't know I never been in love before I sit there imaging her face I sit there thinking of her soft touch I sit there…wondering If im in love A laugh in my mind A sigh in my heart Wondering, Am I in love? One nite I took her hand And asked her to the dance She said yes Happiness was setting in, U r pretty rite now in the present.. I can't wait until I see u in a dress, I dream of this day These two months r going to make me ache I fall asleep thinking I wake up waiting Cuz it's another day until I see u in that dress U r my fantasy date.. U r the only one I want to be with To be with on this night of bliss To share my one night of meaning To dance with until dawn To say good nite when we all part… To hug u and say thank u … To say u will always be in my heart. For this night of my life It will be so complete When I see u in that dress It is no longer fantasy It is finally reality WithYou I see this girl every day I dream about her in the suns light I sleep thinking about her in the moonlight Wondering what it would be like If she was at my side If I could look into her eyes See heaven, see my life in hers I see her every day. I feel her drifting away.. I see her walking away.. I lost her one more day. I lie in bed. Thinking If I could just say something. Not get cold feet Open my mouth and speak Let her know how I feel.. Let her know she means everything She is my reason for living She is the reason I wake up Even on rainy days.. I would die for her To touch her lips just once To hold her hand. To say I want to be with u to the end At First Site I saw her for the first time. So beautiful so pretty I look at her … She was stuck in my mind I dream every nite…. wondering What it would be like to go out with her? Wishing for a chance....knowing I wont get one I guess it will have to be a dream. Cuz it can never be…. look at me Why would she like me? Why would she date me? I never knew, How fast I could fall for someone How I could think of someone Nite and day … Never let them slip out of my mind. But I can feel her slipping away… I never told her. That I liked her. That I can stop thinking about her Caring about her…. Wondering if she is ok...if its a hard day Hoping she is ok…at the end of the day That I can't wait to see her one more day The first time I saw her What I felt was great. Something I never felt before…. Something I will never forget to this day My heart is still pounding… My mind is still racing My eyes are still gazing. Out into space. Im so glad this feeling will never go away. It all started when I saw her that first day But, Why would she go out with me? More than friends? She took my breath away.. She said yes..but Yet there is a dark cloud over my head. It doesn't feel rite even tho she said yes. There is still an empty feeing inside There is an endless thought in my mind Of why I feel this way She said yes why am I not satisfied. She said yes I should be filled with joy She said yes, But this empty feeling is hurting me inside Cuz I want to go as just more than friends I wake up in the morning and reality hits me in the face I wake up and can't believe what I did… But I do cuz my heart is hurting too My life is all messed up cuz of the different feelings I want to be close to her so friends we must stay. But more is what I want…but im not that lucky It will never happen, it shall never be Why must I like someone that can like me the same. Why do I fall for some one? That ends up friends we must be? strange days Today was the turning point in my life the time I found out I was wrong so many times... I found out I will die not today and not tomorrow but some day…at some time some point in my life... the wind blew light, I felt a cold feeling around me ...Spirits were saying hi, or maybe good bye for the last time... my grandma my grandpa...maybe my friend I haven't seen in a while.... the people I never said good bye too... I said hi to the homeless man on the street cuz u never know if u will see him again... prayed 4 one more chance to say I love u to the special person in your life the girl u like since the first time u laid eyes on her… I walked to my house wondering if I will survive…I will be strong at the right times …make it out of life alive…… or just make it out…with a strong or weak mind. Time is so slow but yet so fast at points u wish u could just hold the moments that mean so much to u in your heart… but u cant remember a thing…. time isn't on your side. U try to stay awake but u cant u need to sleep.u float in to the plains … .u wake up in a state that u seen b4 but this time u do remember … u wish u could leave this place….u see everyone but they don't see u U wonder if this is your time…the truth has come…your dead …or in the state of dying… may be just in a deep sleep. But the things u see…will haunt u always in or out of your sleep…. u walk around wonder ….worrying…watching while the world pass by… these r the strange days of your life depression He stares heavily out at the dark sky Horrifying crying out why,why,why Tears fall hard from his eyes The will for living is as dark as his soul inside He looks in a mirror and sees a different guy The pain and emotions tears him apart He knows he is losing his mind He puts an object to his side hoping for once everything will be fine His muscles tense and then, Silence falls upon his life Finally no more why,why,why past I try to peace together the broken glass The shattered dreams because of my dark past A bunch of lies so much hate In a lake of misery i was floating away lost love..family goes separate ways.. bestfriend overdoses..grandfather passes away.. the emotions of the game get to me ... im not from here...i was born in a different country... Alone in the corner shacking , screaming out all my pain no one heard no one came.... Alone i am in this dark place. Alone living a life filled with pain Alone I sit in my room were its dark and cold I am al alone I stare at the wall heavy Wondering what is wrong with me I flip out start to throw things In a couple of seconds i calm down A dark sad feeling falls upon me I start crying and shaking My lungs tighten I cant breath I fall hard to the ground Suddenly I blackout into a deepsleep I wake up and remember nothing Im still all alone The Ghost Alone he sits at night At the corner of his eye A ghost stands at his side He gets up and stares in its eyes A cold pain went up his spine The fear and nightmares made him lose his mind His skin cold and white like the heavens sky His soul is being lifted from inside He knew He saw it in its eyes He felt the burning from inside He was going to die Hollow days These days get me down , when they come around . The only days out of the year I feel worse than I ever will. Around my family its all fake , they will never see the dark side behind this happy face Time has passed, this dark side they never knew. ive grown up and twenty-three years old. Me and my soul are all alone. Sitting in a chair,sad emotions running high,self-esteem running low. I look at family pictures a tear runs past my nose. I look up at the sky wonder were i would i go. Kneeling on the ground finger on the trigger shaking uncontrollably . A moment of silence his head bows down . He pulls the trigger and for seconds flashbacks of happy memories go into his head... Memories lost until he was dead A man is lost on this day of happiness, but to him sandiness. But today the Twenty-fifth of December was a day of happiness not to his mind and body but to his soul a child soul waiting to grow up and leave behind bad memories. A person my have been lost but a soul has been saved.